For those of you tired of hearing about my photography endeavors read no further, for those interested in fueling my narcissism forge ahead. I had 3 shoots in 2 days. I would consider each a success, but I can't be sure because I have only had time to edit one of the three shoots. Photography is much more emotional than I had anticipated. On any given day I vacillate between wanting very much to be a photographer and feeling so inadequate that surely I must be fooling myself (and no one else). This all came to a culminating emotional breakdown after my 3rd shoot this weekend. I was feeling very overwhelmed not by the work load although 3 shoots in 2 days is a bit extreme, but by the fact that I want to give everyone I do a shoot for the best possible outcome. Because I am still learning as I go I can pick out a multitude of things that I would do differently as I look at the pictures post shoot. Anyway back to my emotional breakdown...
As we all know I hate to fail, I hate even the hint of not doing well at something. So I cried and pouted and tried to get my head around what I was doing. This is were my sweet husband Ben comes in. Not only did he take care of the kids for most of the day on Saturday while I helped with wedding plans, got a hair cut and did shoot # 3, he was also there for support through my break down. He didn't tell me I was awesome and that I was as good as any professional photographer (he tends not to lie) but he did help me realize, much to the chagrin of my perfectionist personality, that this is a process. A process that will be full of successes and failures. He said many kind things about my work, but it seems weird to repeat them here. The point is I am so grateful for a supportive husband who loves me and wants to see me succeed.
Besides Ben's support the other thing that pushes me to follow this dream is the fact that I love being behind a camera. Even though the rest of the time I have to deal with incredible amounts of self doubt that tends to subside as soon as a shoot starts. I hope that this candid confession does not scare those of you who are planning shoots with me. Just know that I do love taking pictures and I wont break down during a shoot...I save that sort of thing for home.
For those interested I have posted more pictures on my photo blog. I hope to have the other shoots posted some time this week. The link is under My favorite blogs.
Monday, April 14, 2008
More on photography...
Posted by Terrie at 2:16 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I checked out your photo's and think they are absolutely beautiful. Great Job as always! I am like you, totally afraid of failure and afraid to do things for other people because they my reject it or me. Trying to be better at that. I think you are amazing to try something and stick with it.
I'm so excited to see Cameron's pictures! I think your new endeavor is like most things in life...hard but worth it. Thanks for taking time out for us!
I think that you're doing a great job. All of the pictures that I've seen are really good. Weight loss is a process, just like learning a new skill, so I know how you feel in that area. I have to remind myself constantly that perfection does not come over night. Erick is very supportive of all I do and I feel so lucky to have him. I'm so glad that you have Ben to support you. We are looking forward to having you do a shoot with Caden :)
Your pictures are awesome! Thank goodness for husbands with cool heads and an ability to understand breakdowns are necessary for growth and understanding! BTW, will you come to Texas and do a shoot for me? :-)
Post a Comment