Lillie’s best friend is Sophie. Sophie and Lillie are polar opposites in almost every way. Lillie is loud and outgoing (possibly obnoxious) while Sophie is quiet and shy. But for some reason they are drawn to each other. I was visiting with Sophie’s mom the other day when the fashion of our 5 year olds became the topic of discussion. It seems they do have at least one thing in common. They care about what they wear and what other people think about what they wear. I was happy to find out that my 5 year old is not the only one that worries about what others think of her.
All year I have been trying to get Lillie to wear two shirts, usually an under shirt and a regular shirt. But sometimes just because two shirts layered is cute. Typically, this is a source of contention between us because she thought that that just was not fashionable enough for her tastes and the other kids won’t think she is “stylish.” If it is a modesty issue I insist (because she is so tall and long wasted many of her shirts are not long enough to reach the top of her pants) but if it is just what I think is cute I try not to push it. Two days ago, I tried to get her to wear a short-sleeved shirt over a long sleeved shirt, well like usual she didn’t go for it. I let it go and that was the end of it. So yesterday, I set out her clothes, being sure to choose a shirt that is long enough that she will not have to wear another one with it. A few minutes later, she comes out with a long sleeved shirt under the shirt I had chosen for her. I was quite surprised and said “I thought that you didn’t like wearing two shirts.” To which she replied, “I like it now, everyone will think I am stylish.” So I chuckled to myself and added it to the many times that she has wore something based on the fact that “they” or “everyone” will think she is stylish. This morning she insisted that she wear two shirts, a short-sleeved on top of a long sleeved. And informed me that she was only going to wear shirts like this from now on. She will be disappointed when she realizes she only has a few shirts that she can do that with and no matter how much “they” like the look she can’t wear the same 3 shirt combinations every day. I think this is cute and the stuff that funny stories are made of. But I do worry about her and all of the other 5 year olds that already worry so much about what others think about how they look. It makes me wonder do we do this to them by constantly verbalizing our own worries about what others think of us. Is it ingrained in them by a society that places too much enfaces on outward appearances and not enough on who the person really is? Yes, to both. Although I do want my kids to be clean and presentable I do not want the focus to be about what others think about how they look or dress. I want them to worry about being polite, having good manners, being kind and showing people who they really are on the inside because I like to think that beauty has more to do with who you are than what you wear.
4 comments:
Well the nut dosn't fall far from the tree. Terrie has always wanted to look her best. I am on my third five year old. My first two were fashion divas. Mariah has so much else to work on, She will wear almost anything. Unless Beth catches her.
One thing I'm going to work on is making a conscious effort to NOT say things about what others think of me. We'll see if it makes a difference.
It's been interesting to see the difference in my boys and Holly, they could careless(which isn't always good) and Holly is already particular about what she wears,and she is only 3!
When I picked Lillie up for school one day this week, she said "Don't I look stylish?" I assured her that she did and then she went on to explain to me why she looked stylish (because of her layered shirts). It was so funny and so cute!
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