Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Mother knows best (sometimes)

Let's just get it out in the open, I am a bit stubborn. And by a bit I mean a lot! I don't like unsolicited advice or opinions. I tend to think I am always right...it's ok I am at peace with my inner control freak. So a few years ago when my mom said she thought that Joseph had Asperger's Syndrome, I smiled and nodded but listened to the doctors who said we was bi-polar. I should listen to my mother more often! Turns out she was right, Joseph is not bi-polar, he is an aspie.

Shortly after this discovery a friend asked me if I was heart broken, the answer I gave her then and the answer I give you now are the same...NO! There is light at the end of the tunnel with Asperger's, there is understanding and help. Dealing with bi-polar was like a black hole that we could never dig ourselves out of. There was not a lot of positive to look forward to, educators looked at us with eyes glassed over and arms in the air; even family and friends didn't always know how to handle a diagnosis that was so big for such a little guy. We worried that Joseph would be on meds his whole life and wondered how he would be effected by this as an adult. We have a family history of bi-polar and know the heart ache that it can cause. Please do not misunderstand me, bi-polar is not a death sentence nor or the people diagnosed with bi-polar a lost cause. They are wonderful people dealing with a disease that I can barely wrap my head around. But I was relieved when Joseph's diagnosis was changed.

So many things make sense now. So many behaviors and "quirks" have been demystified for us. We are better equipped and better educated about how to deal with the issues that Joseph faces on a daily basis. This fits, it makes sense and we have seen a big improvement in Joseph and his quality of life. Knowing what we are truly dealing with has made all the difference.

So from now on I will at least consider that my mother might be right.

5 comments:

Alli said...

I'm glad to hear that. Hope all is well with you guys!

Claudia said...

As heartbreaking as it is to have a kid with a "diagnosis", it must give you a great measure of peace to finally have the correct diagnosis. I hope there are good resources available to you that provide help for all of you!

Just me said...

I just love you both! Mom

Amy said...

I'm so glad you finally have the correct diagnosis for Joe. I'm amazed at your ability to accept your situation and make the best out of it. He is an amazing kid! He's lucky to have you two as parents.

Shannon said...

What a relief to finally get the right diagnosis. I do think there are so many more resources available today for kids with Asperger's that Joseph and you will have the help and support you need. I love the attitude you have, that this isn't something that is going to get you down. Good for you and lucky Joseph for having parents that have optimism, hope and love.